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Monday, 28 July 2008

Appreciation

I was realizing the other day that I don't compliment my boyfriend enough. I say/think way more about stuff that he does that bothers me about him. Even on my blog here, I think the picture of him has been negative. So I am resolved to change that, because he is an amazing boyfriend. He is so sweet and is always complimenting me. He is thoughtful and likes to buy me nice things. He is a dreamer, and loves to think of "us" and our future. He loves to cook, alone or with me. He is a great provider. He is funny and always makes me laugh. He has a great house, that he built himself! He is ambitious. He is a hard-worker. He bought me a CAR for our 6-month anniversary. He is very easygoing. He likes to take care of me.
My new goal is to compliment him or tell him one thing he is doing good at in our relationship every day.

Wednesday, 23 July 2008

To Grandpa

I miss you so much. It really hasn’t sunk in until now. Yeah there were times that it felt real that you were gone, and definitely times of sadness, but it really didn’t feel permanent until now. I miss you.
I miss going rollerblading with you this summer. I miss the meals and the talks. You had such a way of putting things in perspective. I could use some of that right now. You were the one I went to when I was feeling lonely, sad or confused. We didn’t even have to talk about anything. You knew something was wrong, but just being with you helped. It makes me SO sad that you missed my graduation. You more than anyone know what I went through to get here. You’ve seen all my struggles and all my triumphs. You would have loved my portfolio, and I would have loved showing it to you. I miss going over and showing you my newest painting or projects. You rejoiced with me over the littlest thing. You taught me that, to find joy in the details and to take notice of everything. I miss going on road trips with you and having you point out all the deer or pheasants that you spotted before anyone else. I missed having the first ice cream of summer with you this year.
Most of all I’m so sad that you missed meeting C. You would like him. He is so much like you in a lot of ways. He spots the wildlife that I can’t. He likes to take paths that are not there. He loves the lake just like you did. He stops to collect the agates on the road during our walks. I wish you could have met him. I wish you could be there for my wedding.
I wish you could give me advise about everything right now. Just telling you would help. I know that you would tell me what I should do without being pushy or sounding demanding. You would get you point across. I miss that. I miss the casual conversations where out of know where you drop a bombshell topic. I loved that. I loved how you always treated me like an adult even when I was young and immature. I loved how you treated everyone you came across like they were the most important person in the world. You taught me so much. This last year has been a complicated one for me and I missed having you there to help me through it. I love you so much and will miss you always.

Tuesday, 22 July 2008

Dilemma...

The other night my boyfriend asked me to move in with him. My first reaction was of course! I miss him when he's not here, and would love to be able to come home to him every night instead of seeing him a couple days a week. Plus we're probably going to be engaged soon and at this point it makes sense because it would be so much more economical.
But then I started thinking about it.
1.) my parents would not like it at all. They are pretty conservative, and living with your significant other before marriage is wrong in their eyes. I respect my parents a lot and really would have a hard time doing something that they are against.
2.) It's 45 minutes away. From my family, from "my" stores, from my work...I really don't know if I could drive an hour in traffic every day.
3.) he lives in a really small town, and I am not a small town girl. It's not like we're that far from the city, but still I can no longer go out shopping on a whim, or to an art store when I run out of paint in the middle of a project.
I actually wouldn't use that much more gas because it's all freeway driving, and I would save money because I wouldn't be paying for my own apartment. we'd save money on groceries, and we'd get to spend more time together. I'm really torn about it...if I want to do this I need to give notice on my apartment soon, because I have to give a two month notice, and I don't want to move in the winter.
My dilemma for the week...

Friday, 18 July 2008

When thin is too much

When I'm bored at work I will read through random blogs and I've come across so many diet blogs, so I though I'd share some thoughts and experience on that. I will say that I think it is so sad. I really feel for those girls, because I know what a trap diets and food and the need-to-be-thin can be, and what it does to your family and friends. I'm not talking about diets to be healthy, I am talking about when the desire to be thin gets to be too much.
My aunt has struggled with anorexia since her teenage year. She is now in her 30s so it been almost a 20 year struggle. She was admitted to the hospital a couple years ago because she weighed too little. On that visit she stayed for 3 months and missed Easter. It was so sad to go visit her when she was in there, because she didn't get it yet. She kept saying "I don't know why I'm in here, everyone else is way skinnier than me, I'm not the one with the problem". It made everyone feel so helpless. I just wanted to yell at her sometimes and say "look at yourself.! you are skin and bones! you weigh 89LB, how is that not skinny?" Unless someone realizes that they have a problem though, there's nothing you can do to help them. She was recently admitted to the hospital again because her heartbeat was dangerously slow and they thought her heart was failing. this stay was also about a 3 month stay. This time however, it seems to have worked. At least for now, the heart thing seemed to scare her into realizing that she was doing some damage. Which is so good!
I think when people go through something like anorexia or bulimia, they don't necessarily see beyond themselves. They don't see how badly it is hurting those around them. They don't know how much their family constantly worries. Or how sad it is when they're gone for holidays. How hopeless it makes the family feel.
So if you are stating to feel the lure to be thin, be careful. Please.

Thursday, 17 July 2008

I don't get it

I have been wondering some things for a while now, and was thinking perhaps a guy out there couple shed some light on these confusions.
1) Why do you men feel the need to pee outside? is a territorial thing? cause it certainly isn't always a convenience thing. I have friends who will walk across the room and outside in order to pee off the deck, rather than just walk across the room to go in the toilet. I don't get it.
2) Why is it that males become babies when they get sick? We get just as sick as you do, but we don't crawl into bed for a week and act like we're dying. You sneeze 4 times, and life is over. I don't get it.
3) This is the biggest one. Why do guys feel the need to break their necks every time a girl walks by? you can be with the most beautiful girl, but every time another female walks by they just have to check her out. I don't mind you looking at other girls, but the obvious head-turn is insulting. Why not just be content with what you have.
I don't get it.